Parable

Mom once told me about a friend who was a talented opera singer and quite lovely. Unfortunately, she was unsure of her talent, her beauty, and her smarts. She had been married five times. Mom’s friend had recently visited to share her disappointment after yet another divorce.

“Minnie, I keep marrying the same guy,” she sadly said. “My husband’s look different. Some are taller, others heavier, some are plain; others distinguished. But they turn out to be the same guy.”

When I first heard this story, I thought it was about the guys. Now, I’m not so sure.

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I no longer believe that we have to be perfect or for our partners to be exemplary. Rather, I believe relationships endure if we are willing to let the person know without hostility what’s going on between us, offer unconditional support for each other, and commit random acts of caring. It also helps to give the other person space to change even while remembering the way we were.

In that regard, I like to think of a lovely if sentimental movie, “The Enchanted Cottage.” The plot turns on a bitter and cynical soldier horribly scarred by the war who takes a room in a cottage managed by a lonely and homely spinster. They eventually see each other while in the cottage as beautiful people inside and outwardly. As one critic described it, they see each other with their hearts.