“Live Long and Prosper” Mr. Spock
I’ve attended several high school and college graduation ceremonies.
Graduates sit in the front facing a raised stage; relatives sit on the sides or way in the rear. The loudspeakers are loud, but the words are indecipherable because amplified voices are incoherent beyond the first couple of rows. This is an acoustic problem that the engineering graduates could easily explain about amplitude or sympathetic resonance. Unfortunately, it is something that actual engineers are incapable of fixing. However, all is not lost.
YouTube hosts plenty of commencement speeches that can be clearly understood. For example, Admiral William H. McRaven advised graduates to make their beds first thing in the morning to begin their days with a disciplined sense of accomplishment. Jerry Seinfeld alerted graduates that a new class is eager to replace them so get the hell out. And Harrison Butker told the women graduates at Benedictine College to strive to become homemakers because success is marrying and getting pregnant. He did not leave the men out by advising them to remain masculine. These ridiculous life guides got me thinking about what I might tell a graduating class.
“Thanks for inviting me to talk with you today. I realize that those people sitting on the sides and in the rear will only hear garbled words that vaguely resemble Ewok conversations. But this talk is not intended for the relatives because they’ve already achieved their ambition, realized lives of desperate mediocrity, or they are too young to care about anything but their next meal.
“First, no matter how well you’ve planned your post-graduate careers, stuff happens. And lots of stuff is accidental. But when a lucky break comes your way, taking advantage depends on your preparedness and pluck. For example, who knew that being an English major would prepare me for a career with the Internal Revenue Service. For example, deciphering Milton’s “Paradise Lost” and Chaucer’s “Canterbury Tales” prepared me for interpreting the Internal Revenue Code. Writing papers about the Victorian poets prepared me for composing comprehensible legal jargon. And discussing Shakespeare developed an ability to be somewhat articulate. Then it was only a matter of going back to night school to pick up an accounting degree that gave me access to advancement.
“So, luck, grit, and preparedness – and not being arrogant – will help take you through a successful professional life. As for a happy life, that only comes with experience.
“In conclusion, live long and prosper.”
